July 2012
June 2012
Things I Say While Driving
Me: Fuck you, oh. Fuck. You.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Good luck in the slow lane there, bud.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: Lolol your car's a piece of shit.
Me: If I miss that green light because of you...
Me: You're gonna cut me off? You better hope you have a damn good accelerator, bitch.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: Nope, roof rack.
endofunctor:
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz. ‘Cause...
Rant On Life: thepinkwalrus: i’m not prepared... →
thepinkwalrus:
i’m not prepared for…
laralaralara:
delladilly:
slattern:
i’m not prepared for adulthood
what are taxes and how do you “do” them
what is balancing a checkbook like do you just walk around with a checkbook on your head like in a posh finishing school to…
patronsaintofqualityfootwear:
if you say “bloody maury” into a mirror three times you will be the father
WatchJESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
So I have a job interview at a coffee house that I would love to work at and it’s with the big boss so I’m already nervous and then I went to bed and now I can’t remember if the interview was today or Thursday and I already goofed once I don’t want to fuck up today ):
Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see...
bigdickalecki:
no one is immune
